Sub or Nah? That is the Question

Hey Lovers,

As I’ve grown and understanding my sexuality, I’ve come to the conclusion that I prefer to be the non-dominate on in a sexual interaction. I’m a very dominate person in my everyday life. I’m loud, bold and very much in your face. However, when it comes to sex, it’s a very different story. My pussy gets wet when my partner tells me what to do, whispers commands in my ear, pulls my hair etc.

At one point in time I use to be very self conscious about this. I use to feel like I had to be this over the top because I thought that’s what my partners found sexy.  It took my ex and pretty much my gold star sex partner to enlighten me to the fact that I just prefer to be dominated and I need to be okay with that.

I would be lying if I said the thought of becoming sub didn’t cross my mind. I have thought many times that I could enter into a sub/dom relationship. For me it wasn’t that easy. For one I don’t know many people that are into the sub/dom culture and I’m not trying to just jump in and not know who I’m dealing with. Finding a dom that I vibe with and connect with won’t be easy.  While the dom is in control, it’s the sub that dictates if something will or won’t happen. Furthermore I’m not one to trust easily, and entering a sub/dom relationship (in my opinion) requires some level of trust because it really is a new level of vulnerability both of us would be entering into.

I’m also aware that there are many facets to the sub/dom culture. Facets the extend far beyond the mediocre foolishness that is 50 Shades of Grey. Because I’m not sure of what I fully wanted out of such a relationship, I’ve put being a sub on the back burner.

There was also the idea that just because I like to be dominated, does that really equate to being a genuine sub? Where do I even being to look for such a relationship? Do I even need to find someone new or can my guy & I take this leap together?

So many thought so little time. Thoughts? Are you sub or are you a dom? Let me know.


Ms. L&V


2 thoughts on “Sub or Nah? That is the Question

  1. I can totally identify with this, especially the part about finding a dom you can trust! It’s not the kind of relationship you can have with just anyone, the vulnerability makes it difficult.


  2. I am definitely a sub. I have always been a sub…but I haven’t been able to fully BE a sub. I am learning that the sub holds way more power than the dom and most folks don’t understand that. There is power in submission. Finding that dom that you can trust to be vulnerable with so that he/she respects where your need to be submissive comes from is important to the relationship. Hopefully you can find that dom for you.


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