Be honest, what is the first thing you think about when you hear someone say they have sex blog?
The other night while I was wasting my life away on my instagram (Lips & Vibrators…you should follow me) I looked up the hashtag #sexblogger. Out of 24K plus post the one thing that I notice almost instantaneously was the major lack of black sex bloggers. Don’t get me wrong, I have no hate or malice toward white sex bloggers, however, trying to find a tribe for myself within this space as proven to be a challenge.
There is no shortage, literally not shortage of white women within the sex blogger space. All with a quirky vibe surrounding their super cute and chipper sex toy reviews. A space where they’re allowed to be empowered & enlightened by the multiple ways the love dick. I read and follow quite a few white sex bloggers and sometimes I feel like I just can’t relate. When I’m reading a blog, I need to feel like I’m engaging with a home girl. And quite frankly, how MOST black women come into their sexuality is VERY different than white women.
Even hunting for images that correlate to my blog is like digging through your makeup bag for that one blending brush all the way at the bottom. You pass every other one because it’s not what you need/looking for. Googling images of sexy couples or intimacy between couples I’m flooded with white couples. I may come across that one black couple or the obligatory interracial couple doing something ultra naughty. (because apparently that’s all interracial couples do #majorsideeye) I have to scroll and scroll and scroll AND SCROLL throught google, tumblr & instagram to find photos depicting sexual black couples that are beyond your basic black porn scenes. Images of black couples or images of solo black men & women have their own level of sexiness and sensuality and that need to be celebrated.
Now on a basic level sex is sex regardless of the color your skin, but keep it 100, we want to see image of women or men who look like us. This is part of the reason why I started L&V. I was loving the raunchiness of my Tumblr, but wanted to branch and as I embarked to find more blogs like what I wanted to create…GIRL it was like looking for waldo on the internet. You can read more about my reasons for starting the blog in this post.
I know black women and women of color are sexual beings just as much as white women. We enjoy our bodies just as white women. We use toys, we want to learn how to have bigger and better orgasms. We want and need to explore our sexuality and not feel like we will be shamed for it. Who knows, maybe there are more black sex bloggers out there and we’re all sort of hiding in our own little corners because we know what kind of world is waiting for black women who dare to love sex and be open about it. We know the world is not kind to a black women that has has more than one sex partner in her lifetime. Between our mothers never REALLY talking about sex with us, to society (and the people in our close circles) telling us black women, that any sort of openness about our sexuality immediately results in us a being hoes that deserves zero respect.
My girl Angel from Lupe.Space wrote a similar blog post and when I first read it, I was like OMG she’s literally speaking my mind. Check out her post Elephant in the Room.
This not meant to be pitting black women against white women, this is simply about representation. Black sex bloggers come out come out where ever you are. Let me know what you guys think.